The Birth of a Dancing Machine

As a mother of boys I've been faced with many unexpected things since the arrival of my firstborn.  Many things have been seen, done, and spoken that I would never have dreamed would happen to me in my life.   A few examples...

• Baby puke in the mouth is just as gross as it sounds.  Not his mouth, my mouth.  Lesson learned: Never tip a freshly fed baby upside down while kissing him on the mouth.  Ew. (I'm sure this applies to all babies, not just the ones of the male persuasion, however....EW!)
• Popcorn kernels can be removed from a nostril by force of air.  Yes kids it's true.  Just lay that toddler down, cover the kernel free nostril with your hand and blow a little puff of air in the mouth.  Out pops the kernel, pretty as you please.  Warning: Toddler will NOT appreciate being held down and having his mouth blown into.  Make a note to remind him when he's grown that he needs to thank you for saving him from having a corn stalk growing out of his schnozz...and that he needs to apologize for that tantrum he threw as a result of your kindness.
• Legos, on the other hand, cannot be removed from the nose in this manner.  Lego removal requires the attention of an ENT and a laproscope.  Toddler (now no longer a toddler but a preschooler who should have learned his dang lesson with the popcorn kernel) will also not appreciate 2 or so feet of tubing and a little camera being fed into his nose.  Nope, not happy.  Since he is perfectly capable of knowing what an "Um, DUH!" face looks like feel free to shoot one at him while half the tube is hanging out of his mouth.  Lesson learned: Boys never really get tired of sticking weird stuff into their nose and other bodily crevices.
• No Weapons At The Dinner Table has probably been a rule since the dawn of time but it's not really one I thought I'd have to remind everyone of on a regular basis.  That being said it does help hammer home the "eat your vegetables" rule when you have an actual hammer at the table to enforce with.  
• At some point yelling "If I trip over this damned battle axe ONE MORE TIME I'm going to throw it in the garbage!" loses it's novelty.  
• There are many, many "winky" related dance moves...most of them have to be performed buck nekkid whilst giggling maniacally.  Who knew?

There is so much more I could share...but then you wouldn't buy my memoirs when they come out someday, and let's face it-some things once read can never be unread.  However...the one thing I NEVER thought I would hear myself utter is....

"Don't forget....you have dance class at 5."

Don't get me wrong, I know there are millions of boys out there who love dance class and besides...where would all of the Mikael Baryshnikov's and Usher's come from if boys weren't interested in dance?  But you have to know my boys.  Eldest has been the rough and tumble, Star Wars loving, Spiderman suit wearing, karate kicking kid he is from birth.  Littlest comes at you with fists of fury, wild punk hair flying...picturing him on the dance floor is a little difficult to do.  Eldest though has come to a renaissance period of his childhood and wants to get his boogie on...so off to dance class we went.

Littlest is NOT in the mood to be photogenic as we wait for Liam to try out class.

Into the studio we went...and because I have boys, NOT girls, I had NO idea I couldn't sit and watch in the room while they did their thang...I'm a karate mom y'all.  So off we went, down the hall, following behind the boys only to be shut down at the door.  We were told politely we could watch from the lobby where we found a television that had live streaming video straight from the studio. 

Just so you won't miss him...that's him with the giant yellow arrow pointed at his head.  I am a proud mama!

So now I can at least say my son has been on television.  He got his hip hop on for 45 minutes or so and hasn't stopped dancing since.  He was already a Michael Jackson fan but now he's determined to be the next pop star.  Who would have thought that my little Star Wars addict would want to get his groove on....and actually be GOOD at it!?  I guess if there is any one thing that you definitely learn while raising children...girls OR boys...it's that you should learn to expect the unexpected...that and you should never overestimate the power of a Huggies diaper.  Ever.  The amount of pee that comes out of a 5 month old is never proportionate to the amount of formula he had at lunchtime.  (I mention this because I had cause to remember this today while babysitting.  Changing diapers ain't like riding a bike...you DO forget the capacity of a size 2 Pamper.) 

My big guy is looking forward to his next dance class and I think eventually littlest will want to get jiggy with it too.  Chalk this experience up to one of those things I never expected to happen as a mother of boys.  I'm sure it's not the last time they will surprise me.

I shared some of my parental 'learning' moments....got any of your own?  That you aren't too embarrassed to share?